Alexa, play The Sound of Silence

Because he didn’t think the things he tweeted were problematic until there was backlash.

Men shouldn’t have sex if they’re not prepared to accept that the woman may get an abortion.

Weird ass hill to die on, girl. 

#4Feet4Peat

“First you’re sitting on the motorcycle, then you’re riding it, then BOOM you’re dead in a ditch. Is that what you want? I hope not!”

I dunno, it’s just a joke. I could show up in a trash bag and a dildo crown and my dad probably wouldn’t even notice, much less give a shit.

The number one responsibility of a father is to embarrass their child as much as possible. Carry on, Alec.

Eh. This doesn’t really bother me. It’s pretty innocuous. If you’re putting your thirst traps out in the world for everyone to see, maybe sometimes you’ll get reminded that everyone can see them.

“The Trump National Hudson Valley? Why, she died on the way to prom night 50 years ago…”

There’s something faintly unsettling about this article. The aimless circuitous directory is Twilight Zone-ish, and I kept expecting Walker to pay a visit to the club only to learn that it closed down in 1972.

This is what a stupid person thinks fancy food looks like

this is a toddler-created still life depicting of the solitary death of a giant squid, using only materials she could source from her parent-bereft kitchen.

citing the potential harm she feels it could cause her career

you young’uns probably don’t remember when Madonna first showed up on the music scene. She was a pretentious insufferable bore then and nothing has changed.

Maybe Ben is being treated for worms?

You say that, but right now, a young Zephyr Timblebum is booking her first modeling gig. And Glynda Wonklefuss is heading to Hollywood to follow her dreams.

If she just figuratively married him, she would end up saving a lot on legal fees in the breakup. 

Bleep Bloop Bleep Let’s Laugh With Celebrities With Mr. Good Time Smiley Pants

“We sincerely apologize to Aretha Franklin’s family and friends. Our intention was to honor the icon using a secondary image of her performing with Patti LaBelle in the full screen graphic, but the image of Ms. Franklin was obscured in that process, which we deeply regret.”