I knew I lived in the wrong country.

After he won the second time, I had to rewind my DVR because I was like, “I swear he just won an award for Vice. Am I crazy? Was he nominated in two movies?”

We need a new plague.   

You’re my new favorite person. 

I still think about this scenario today.  And I’m not sure why taking anything I want from abandoned grocery stores seems like it would be the best thing ever since there really isn’t anything at the store that I want that I can’t afford, so maybe it has to do with the lack of fellow shoppers? 

I can confirm that.  I have a dog who is allergic to everything and he’s had the kangaroo food.  I did feel bad about it.  Now he’s eating rabbit food which I also feel guilty about but hey, he can tolerate it and that’s all that matters.

I am an unapologetic Katy Perry fan. I love most of her albums. I think Teenage Dream is one of the most perfect pop albums ever created.

My mom’s dog has terminal cancer and has been on CBD oil since his diagnosis last August. Not only has it worked wonders for him, she is convinced it’s lengthened his life. He’s still alive and kicking over a year later and I’ve seen the effect it has on him - he acts like a damn puppy again! Her other dog also has…

My friend’s parents’ dog is named Kevin and it never fails to crack me up when they tell stories about how they bought Kevin a new Christmas sweater and people assume they are talking about their human son.

Yes! The Good Vibes Gang!

Try cottage cheese and pineapple or mandarin oranges.

You can ask them to mix up the burrito ingredients! It changed my life.

I live in Arizona. I can vouch for at least a few of us who were indeed tired of what a racist asshole he is. 

Is it ever explained why someone would build a bazillion dollar dinosaur theme park on an island with an active volcano?  Was no one aware of this fact when construction began? 

What are the logistics of proving that a World Cup player is actually the father? Is a DNA test required before they can claim their free Whoppers?

500 Days of Hereditary please!

Indeed, they are very polarizing.

No one in my family likes blue cheese so I substitute it with ranch dressing and it’s delicious! You could try that instead?

I wish I had thought of that! It’s hilarious!

I’m “Mark Me As ‘Safe’ As I Have Survived This Flood From My Own Vag.”