I don’t see this as a problem, in part because when I lived in Vienna, you could buy pre-mixed Jack and Coke in a can. It was a thing of beauty (and also a sign I’d already had PLENTY to drink, if I was gravitating towards Jack and Coke in a can).

He died??!

he’s a “no thanks, save the bag” shopper. they walk among us.

It really stresses me out that he doesn’t have a bag for that sander! Maybe it was intentional so he can display both his hand strength and general interest in sanding.

“rental Hyundai” is the saddest thing

Traditionally the word for your half-sister’s ex-husband is “that asshole”. The word for your half-sister’s ex-husband once removed is “that asshole, you know who I mean.”

If I was still wearing a retainer, I’m pretty sure I would’ve popped it during that scene, too, random internet child. In short, same girl, saaaaame.

Liev Schreiber is definitely the type of person who interjects conversations with “Oh, you need x/y/z? Because I got a guy.”

I remember one time when I was fifteen, I got bored and pulled out my old box if Barbie dolls and had a grand old time.

Also, semi related: when I was moving out of my (now ex-) husband’s house, he had piled all of my belongings in the living room like the real class-act that he is, refused to help me load the car, etc. and when the final load was packed and I turned around to say goodbye... he gave me Super Puppy Eyes and asked me…

When I saw you going viral yesterday, Bobby, my cold heart warmed just a little.

I think the first one is also a reference to the fact that she might have more luck in love if she dates an actual fish instead of a man who just drinks like one. BOOM.

If the Disney movies teach our kids anything about parental death it’s a) it will lead to a series of adventures or b) they will be adopted by someone richer and cooler than their dead birth parents.

Oh, that’s always fun. My 5 yr old told me once he wished his dad and I would die so he could go live at the neighbors house. They have a tetherball pole.

After watching the first Frozen my son told me he wished I’d die like Elsa’s parents, so he and his brother could have an ice rink in the front yard.

I kept expecting one of them to murder the other and was disappointed when it didn’t happen.

Come sit with me, Jennifer! I haaaate DDL’s performances to begin with (the frenzied level at which he emotes is just super inauthentic and distracting to me; I always feel like I’m watching some butthurt theater professor trying to prove how hard he can act. So hard! Much yelling! Such spittle!), but THIS is his…

Oh great, now I’m hungry AND aroused. You’re no help at all.

Vests make me SO ANGRY!!!