The Sporting News just published a pretty righteous take-down of this “forgettable SportsCenter anchor,” too. The whole thing is worth a read, IMHO, but this is the best part:

My family tells one about me that they think is HILARIOUS, but I’m still indignant about.

No dude, it was a Challenger, not a Mustang

Pictured - the ‘supercharger’

“185k mile turbo Volvo for $6500? Sounds like a good investment.” - Guy who bought Enron stock in late 2001, claiming “It’s gonna turn around any day now”

For reals.

People who write See ID on the signature line and get pissy when you ask for ID are the worst.

When I worked in a theme park I was told not to say "your card is declined" because guest service or something, so I would say their cards ran out of magic, which would only confuse and piss them off more.

I legitimately was like WHO is that? Did not recogonize her at ALL

Hey, Texas. Abortions are a medical procedure. Medical waste is disposed of by incineration. If you know of a hospital or medical office that is "grinding and discharging into a sanitary sewer system" any of their medical waste, you need to investigate, fine, and possibly shut them down. If that is not the law in…

Soon to be seen on elite athletes like Dog The Bounty Hunter.

Dear old guy,

I’m imagining miniature funerals, with caskets the size of your thumb. Buried in tiny little graves with popsicle sticks as the tombstones.

Nice!

My trick is to have been born less than thirty years ago.

You make living sound like it sucks.

Leroy Jeeeeennnnnnkkkkkiiiiiinnnnnnnnnsssssssssss

End of level boss fights in RL never go well.