She probably didn't even need to shave her eyebrows off for the reduced drag.

It's comforting that we're still making these high production value videos, with nonsensical plots devoid of any thematic connection to the lyrics, for cheesy throwaway pop songs. It's like the 80's again, and I'm eating otter pops on the porch while Reagan beats up commies.

Aww, thanks!

1704

I like that you write the things I think but would never say out loud for fear of offending.

I think you dropped a decimal somewhere. .08% of Americans is about 250,000.

Wild guess: 99.92% of Americans could not name their city council member.

Glad to see that psych minor is paying off. Best of luck!

Oh, sweetie, it's ok, you tried.

I guarantee that more people have derived pleasure from watching him play than from knowing you.

It is imperative to execute your liege lord's favorite concubine, to demonstrate your total devotion to victory. It's like business school 101.

How many times have you accidentally eaten your own poop? I’m guessing more than a few.

A recent study, funded by my penis, concluded that I am the most proficient lover in the world and that all beautiful women should actively seek my bedroom services.

I saw a GVX run a 1/4 mile at LACR in Palmdale, back in the early 90's. It ran about a 22 @ 60 mph, if I recall correctly.

I've never seen one either. Even at the stadium trough's grosser little brother, the stadium bathroom that is just a wall that you pee at that just has a gutter at the bottom.

So much ink spilled over nothing.

It's a solid bet that when it's all tallied up at the end of the week, this will not even break the top 20 list of most baffling things that happened during the convention.

He wrote, idiotically, in the comment section of a soccer-specific blog.

What are your thoughts on vaccines?

Lowenbrau. I was probably 6 or so. It put me off beer for the next 15 years. Well played, dad.