I’m getting a strong Dr. Orpheus vibe.

At some point the blame has to be assigned to the people giving instead of the people asking.

Hopefully her Iowa staffers were paid up front.

Don't die from cleats, Argentina.

They look like XLCR retreads from '77.

How does daily fantasy law intersect with bird law?

Also, if you are incapable of understanding the difference between a candidate and a candidate's supporters, maybe stay home on election day.

I was legitimately excited for this season. That'll teach me.

Do use protection. There's gonna be a whole lot of accidental children in 9 months.

I mean, sure, if you discount all the loaded historical reference associated with that very specific choice of words, included by professional speech writers, and the very context of that speech being given five days after 9/11, you'd have a point. But you can't, so you don't.

“This is a new kind of — a new kind of evil. And we understand. And the American people are beginning to understand. This crusade, this war on terrorism is going to take a while.”

With a $2k bond, I imagine he'll be sitting in jail until his trial date.

Join the military. Your squadmates in the barracks will beat any nasty habits out of you, and when you spend 13 months in a 300 square foot berthing space with 12 other stankbutt dudes you'll learn how to discriminate between what truly matters and what can be ignored for the sake of harmony.

So true. I mean, here you are.

Pssst, that was the plan.

Let's hope he never plays in the San Fernando Valley Open. They'd never get out of the first round with him stopping to help every person who took balls to the face.

The one on the right has a bright future in soccer.

So...you won't be watching the Oscars?

Suuure, the Greek guy just "accidentally" missed the right hole.