This actually makes me want to watch baseball. No distractions, all game.

That knob on the side looks terrible.

This Abrahamic god sounds like a 30 year old me, obviously he doesn’t have his shit figured out.

You think being a slave on a Thai fishing boat is indicative that there is a benevolent creator? I think you missed my point by a mile. People talk about how blessed they are without even thinking of the implication that God seemingly chooses favorites, I mean here we are talking about this on the internet and…

I’m not an atheist but nothing pushes me towards it, away from agnosticism, when I hear about the kinds of God and whatnot that other people firmly believe in. If this is the best attempt at defining our Creator then I can’t believe in its existence. A God that lets Satan exist, that is omnipotent though, is…

They can say it. Court decides it.

This kid will never live this down.

I have all these...

Dunkin Donuts of course. Not only are they subpar in donuts and coffee, they’re also shitheels with their employees.

As a pothead and animal lover GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THIS BULLSHIT.

Thank God, sounds terrible. Glad we escaped the explosion. High fives all around.

Literally, once you hit 18 you’re old as dirt! And I don’t use literally lightly and throw it around willy nilly.

When you get to a certain age, you appreciate that you’ll never be 17 again. That age varies by life events.

What even happens to teenagers who refuse to on a matter of principle?

Now imagine how we 30 year olds feel around YOU.

It’s not that 17 year olds don’t know anything, it’s that they have petty concerns that are entirely self serving. An adult may have petty concerns but a functional one can at least balance those with providing for self and potentially other people important to them.

It’s glorious, I assure you. It becomes even more fun once you start teasing younger people about not knowing shit from shinola. 30 is great because you’re also still young enough to tease people in their 40s and 50s about being old yourself.

Thank goodness, you sound like quite the petulant little dickens.

Language evolves, hopefully fleek is an evolutionary dead end.

That doesn’t sound corny, no sir.