The US needs to up its bribery game if it's ever gonna compete with the likes of France and Russia.

It's a given that any draw would be relatively easy for France. They've been practicing drawing since at least 30,000 B.C.

The World Cup's hardest draw is definitely Ronaldinho. It's easy to draw his body, but to get that hair just right? That takes a lot of skill.

Jerry Jones: Alright, boys! Get out there, and remember: Life is an old videogame!

Tampa Bay has SNAKEBITE, err, METHICILLIN-RESISTANT STAPHYLOCOCCUS AUREUS.

Tony Romo was quoted on a different radio station:

Well, if you want to get technical, that's only in Tampa Bay's locker room.

"You found 213 pounds of marijuana, but will be able to carry back only 200 pounds to your van."

We're gonna have new faces as we go along the way

Ribbed for her pleasure.

I work and live in Birmingham, MI where most pro athletes live or stay while in Detroit, and have waited on many, many professional athletes over the last few years. I would never speak on how they act or what they say while unwinding in my establishments, but I wanted to say this publicly.

We all know the reason

D. McLain went on to claim that the "issues" in question stemmed from a three-way Fielder had with Miss America 'n' Pie.

I loooooved Tom Cable. Hell, I even kinda liked Hugh Jackson. Dennis Allen has a face that is just begging for a punch.

"Whoever can name all of our quarterbacks since 1999 gets to be our quarterback next Sunday."
-The Browns QB selection team.

I knew the Bears were way down here on this list. Every time I'm forced to watch Joe Buck announce a Bears/Packers game all he does during pregame is "HURR DURR 2 QUARTERBACKS ON THE PACKERS, FIFTY BAJILLION ON THE BEARS DURR."

Do my Minnesota Vikings count as one of those few teams?

just remember that quantity and quality don't always go together

By this graph, the Ravens are the only team that has been consistently good - 2 SB wins, 9 playoff appearances - and been middle-of-the-pack as far as QB stability. Now, to be fair, had Brian Billick not tried to resurrect the corpses of Scott Mitchell and Elvis Grbac and whatever the hell Stoney Case was, the Ravens…

Spergon Lose.