Up next, candling your anus.

When I was a kid, all I ate at Thanksgiving were mashed potatoes, my mom mom's homemade rolls, and cranberry sauce.

Are you Dale Gribble?

That staying to the end was one thing my daughter and I could not do. We went home to a very quiet house.

A year ago, we had to put our first, beloved dog down due to illness. Our daughter, who was 8, was absolutely shattered (as we all were). Thankfully the vet had a wonderful bedside manner and helped us all understand what was going to happen.

I do have a propane grill.

For me, the time spent walking my dog in the a.m. (normally 50-60 minutes) while it is still dark is a good way to ease my brain into the day before it spools up and begins the churn.

Hunter Biden is the quasi-political version of Dennis Reynolds.

I’ve found that pouring some Jameson’s into a solo cup, gargling it, then swallowing can help the itchiness of post-nasal drip and curb the onset of a cold.

Likely Google alert on her own name.

More like a cartel.

When our daughter started 4th grade this year, we were a little surprised that the the teachers were very open about their little- to no-homework philosophy as she had always brought home paper homework of some sort from 1st grade to now.

Now he can have all the Cheez Doodles and eat them openly and proudly.

Sometimes you gotta let those hard-to-reach chips go....

I think it's called leaving work.

Fully expecting a stern memo from Maidment and Spanfeller urging The Takeout team to “stick to sprouts.”

Dog owner here as well.

This sounds like a lovely idea but....

There was a place I frequented throughout my college years that served a roasted chicken dinner for $8.95. A small salad and cup of soup was included, as was a choice of potato, vegetable of the day, a cup of coffee or soft drink, and either rice pudding or Jell-O with whipped topping

How tragic.