For some reason you made me think of my cousin who “up-cycles” old furniture and whose life is basically Kinfolk’s most annoying photo spread ever.

No one’s better than Fisticuffs.

I didn’t realize that photoshop had a “blackface” filter.

#getbetterfriends

That reminds me, did Firefall ever launch?

No one, but the NRA, and a bunch of arms manufacturers.

Use the buddy system. If you’re afraid you might rape someone, bring a friend who will tell you not to do it.

I teach eighteen-year-olds. Fortunately, I don’t teach a controversial subject.

I agree. Then I think, how much of a pussy do you have to be to carry a gun to keep yourself safe from learning stuff that goes against your interpretation of a very old book.

Back to the Poconos with you!

Gunplay is coming.

I would like to beat him to death with my belt. Not even kidding a little.

No, you see, Scarborough’s white and conservative, so it’s totes OK.

Welcome to 2016, where a man who can barely conjugate a verb is a viable presidential candidate for the United States.

“You used to play me on your XBone” rhymes better.

But probably not by the host. I mean, even Leno didn’t mention Gwÿnÿth’s shiny leg-lotion situation.

Do his friends call him “Bacon D” or “B Double” for short? Cause you gotta go with B Double.

But no “Destiny of Fantasy”?

You may not know this, but “woof woof” is dog for “Heil Hitler.”

Nah, fuck that dog.