Nancy Pelosi:

It was only a matter a time before this woman would kill something behind her vehicle. 

Another reminder that Tom Brady is football Tom Cruise.

The official drink of the Biden campaign

Fuck Bill Simmons with the tape of Bob Kraft getting a hand job.

Please Miami, pick him up off waivers. I really want to see him suffer this year. 

Do your job asshole. 

Hey what did people call people who supported Hitler but didn’t hate Jews?

This.

NPR

Just an update, that call happened around the same time as a call with Trump’s BFF benefactor ummmm totally normal friend Vlad.

A match made in hell. 

Paul Ryan in a pant suit.

Awww, Putin gave him his allowance for being such a big boy this month! 

Fair points. Thank you for your service and your corrections.

This is such a bad faith argument on sooooooooooooooo many levels.

Personally I’ll pay more than a thousand dollars to see her walk into the Atlantic Ocean and never return.

Translation:

Guess ol’ Bret got some of those Benjamins...cash...BRIBES! Whew, don’t want him to get upset and think I’m referring to his faith.