I am seeing a lot of people saying this is naïve, but as someone who is older, has a lot of experience in life, has gone through it and has seen others go through it...this is the best advice. I have never seen a relationship go through this and not come badly on the other side. There is a reason the other person…

I disagree. Having been in a several years-long relationship with someone who cheated, I was well aware of temptations and the opportunities for infidelity. But I also had the wherewithal to reject them. So I know it’s possible to be tempted and not follow through. I would expect my partner to do the same for me. If…

Here’s the opinion of a person who’s been married & divorced (not due to cheating, about to marry again), & doesn’t have kids, but is old enough to be a mother to an adult offspring:

I agree with this. Following a bad experience, I found Chumplady.com, and my suspicions, (that cheating is a form of emotional abuse), were confirmed.

Nah. People can be understanding and forgiving, and also be adult enough to control themselves. If people are done with monogamy, then talk about it, and be done with monogamy. Lies and betrayal are not the same thing as openly, honestly, changing the terms of an agreed up arrangement.

Sure, that’s definitely true, probably for many cases. They’d rather find a scapegoat than address the real problem (being that the person they care about is a jackhole). But if the person he cheated with was someone who knew he was in a relationship already or, worse, was friends with both of you, then no. Fuck that…

If you’re in a long term relationship, finding out about your so cheating might just be the tip of the iceberg. What if you’ve been cheated on for the better part of that relationship? What then?

Yes to medium girth. Some vaginas can’t take large penises. I thought it must be vaginismus or maybe a skin irritation, but several gynos have said “Nope, you’re just small.” Husband has to be super gentle with me, and even then I am often uncomfortable. It sucks (or really, I end up sucking :-)

Eh, girth has its limits. I dated a guy for a few months and most times we had sex, I bled a little. Because he was giving me a slight episiotomy. Each time. I wondered if I’d eventually get used to it and then I thought “holy crap, I might - and then after that I’ll only be able to enjoy ones this size!” So, combine…

If anything, I’m staying with someone despite their large penis, not because of it. After a couple tries, you figure out what works best and it doesn’t hurt really. But it can be challenging at first. My preference has always been for unusually smooth penises, because obviously you want to spend more time touching and…

I like a nice size in both length and girth, but if a guy is as girthy as a beer can it’s not my thing. I don’t need my mouth or vagina stretched out.

One of the hottest things I’ve ever done in my life was dry-humping. My sexual partner at the time was on their period and didn’t want to have penetrative sex so we spooned and I dry humped them from behind, my hands rubbing all over their body, the whole time whispering in their ear about how I would fuck them,…

My apologies then. I missed it trying to weave through Kinja’s rather messy comment thread threading.

Wow, I just saw all the errors in this post. I have ADHD.

As a lurker myself, this whole exchange (and both your usernames!) has made me inexplicably happy! :)

Yes! And he kept sprouting the old: better than destroying your family... Dude, if you being honest about breaking your promises and your freaking sex life can destroy your marriage, the divorce is the better option if you spouse wouldn’t accept it. Then he says, nope, better to keep the family together so “the kids…

this! i find it really sad and disturbing that so many men are willing to pay for a feeling of connection instead of putting in some effort and build a connection with someone mutually. it is really much easier to pay to being listened and taken care of then listen and care themselves, too.

That’s a fair distinction. I think people just are truly made to be able to do different things, even things that make us go “yikes”. I used to have all kinds of opinions on how being an outdoor sex worker must just be the worst option ever....until I met some and they very kindly told me that it’s the best choice for…

I don’t think men seek sex outside of marriage to feel “connected” to anyone. I think they do it simply because it’s new and exciting. All relationships even purely sexual ones have that initial feeling of connection simply because the person on the other end of it is new. Men get to reacquaint themselves with the…

Sorry to keep commenting on my own post but goddamn, this is sagacious: