I have always used either pull out or condoms in conjunction with my low dose bc pill. Using a secondary method of birth control is honestly the only way I can have some peace of mind about not getting pregnant.

Beware the jealous s/o who has a problem with you having friends of the opposite sex.

I wish I could star this a hundred times. That last paragraph. I was in a LTR with a nerd guy who considered himself displaced by the mainstreaming of nerd culture and he could literally never just enjoy anything.

I wish I could star this more than once.

“Relationship poaching” is definitely a thing and either gender can poach or be poached. Call it “attempted seduction” if the semantics suit you better.

I guess I just disagree that it’s irrelevant. I mean, she’s not personally responsible for the well-being of my relationship. And the majority of the blame goes to him. And if he was looking to cheat he would just do it and I suspect that’s the case anyway.

Ehhh, in my case the “other woman” was the girlfriend of another guy in his friend group. He had told me they were all out to dinner and she had offered my (now ex) bf sex while her (now ex) bf was sitting there at the table. And she knew me. Gave me the “oh, you’re so pretty! I love your hair!” saccharine thing that…

I had this issue with my ex for an entire year when we first started having sex. The issue eventually resolved, but our size incompatibility still limited our position repertoire, even after several years.

Yeah. It's really difficult to trace threads back to the beginning when everything looks so all over the place.

I agree about discussing options. Come to an agreement or arrangement or compromise. If you and your partner can’t reconcile the issue it’s time to decide if the relationship is worth sucking it up and living with a sex deficit or end it. What I object to is that some people seem to think cheating is an acceptable…

I mean...some men do rape their wives because they feel entitled to their wives’ bodies.

It's not shit, it's chocolate!

If I could figure out kinja on my phone I would point you to the part of this thread where I was responding to a comment in which it was specified that “the wife is unaware”.

So glad you were here to translate what I actually said into your personal interpretation of what I said. You're so helpful!

Except that, assuming the wife is unaware and would not be ok with the husband going out and getting it elsewhere, her agency and ability to know what she’s consenting to (and thus give full consent) the next time she has sex with him, are compromised.

Also harmful if you end up contracting a disease and spreading it to your spouse because they don’t think they need to get tested or use condoms with their supposedly monogamous partner.

Ditto with the butcher and furrier thing. I’m a no meat lady, so yeah. But I think the thing that my brain and emotions have a hard time reconciling (and this is because I always do the “what if it were me?” thing) is that with something like being a butcher, a person could do it and hate it and not have to act like…

Yes, so I'm learning.

For the record, I don’t actually think of sex workers as a set of holes. I obviously understand that you are a human person. I was using inflammatory language in trying to illustrate a point (which may be inaccurate if yours is a common experience).

Yayyyayayay!!! I love your username as well. I've been a lurker on Jez for a long time so I'm kind of fangirling rn that you're talking to me :)