Has anyone looked into the possibility that the bird did it and is framing the wife?

“Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Stool Pigeon Parrot Sings Like Canary!”

That’s Hercule Parrot. He’s a little Belgian.

I showed this story to my wife.

Are you sure it wasn’t a canary?

I had to read that headline multiple times to comprehend it. I don’t even want to say where my mind was heading.

“God’s got this.”

Finally managed to go out for a drive and survey the immediate area. All these were taken within a mile of my house. The line for the supermarket had to be a quarter mile out the door. A few gas stations are open but they’ve sold out of food.

I am still laughing my fool head off at that Top Gun cosplay. Gurrrrl, Kelly McGillis you ain’t.

She looks like she was about to go to a Top Gun themed party before Cheeto dragged her on this stupid vanity trip.

When asked about Osteen, the Lord said: “I don’t know her.”

I’m a Christian but I always view televangelists as shysters. Just seems like everyone of them is a con artist. They never to speak to the spirit in me.

“I saw It when I was 6.”

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII’m Saaaaaaaiiiiiiliiiiing Awaaaaaaaaaaaay!

I think the “clowns are harmless fun” boat sailed with Captain John Wayne Gacy at the helm.

He looks like he’s being played by Martin Short in a shitty comedy about his own life.

That chest x-ray is looking pretty serious for ol’ Farenthold there.