I’ve done food challenges before and the answer is easy: for the laughs. The last one I did was to drink a gallon of milk in an hour. My failure to complete it wasn’t the funny part- that came a few minutes later when I forcibly sharted out the milk.

I should have clarified that I was referring to the Bloody Sunday shooting. 

He’s Russian. He’s probably like 48 yrs old.

It’s weird what sets off the Outrage Machine. Outside of the U.K., the Troubles were a minor historical footnote for most. We have 10 times the number of deaths in school shootings but making fun of school shooting survivors is okay with half the country.

+1 Better Man

What percentage of the population thinks cheddar cheese when they think of pizza?

No, the purse is $7k if you can buy it. That’s a big “if” because Hermes is really particular about who can buy them. The “exclusivity” is part of the reason why it’s in such high demand.

Those are relatively big bags. Definitely not on the table. It was either on the floor or hanging on her chair.

Closed Gold Mine:

He did? Then it’s official official. Deadspin is over. 

What are you going to do with this, drive really fast out of the Whole Foods parking lot?

33 cu ft behind the seats is less than a CR-V.

If 5 guys in KKK robes walked in to your restaurant and you served them, and you think you don’t need a defense to selling food to them, you are morally bankrupt. Or racist. Whichever one you prefer.

I really hope that is his number because I just sent a mean text.

My first Icee was in a K-Mart. It was glorious.

So this thing has less cargo capacity than a Honda CR-V? Why not just buy a car?

This is an offshoot of the “Just following orders” defense. Which is completely fine if you are morally bankrupt.

Death [looking out of the peephole]: I don’t know him.

My wife has been a vegetarian since she was 12 and has no real memory of what beef tastes like. She likes eating Beyond Burgers. I stopped eating meat about 5 years ago and burgers are among the things I miss the most. I’ve been eating Impossible Whoppers like they are Popeye Chicken sandwiches on sale. I had two this…

Yeah, the Impossible Whopper is a reasonable facsimile of a Whopper. Beyond meat is just a different creature altogether: not that bad, but nothing like real beef.