There is literally no better feeling in the world than when I dropped the Bears as my favorite team. Not my divorce from a soul sucking marriage. Not when I left the worst job ever to teach kids with disabilities and found my true calling. Not the birth of my niece or my nephew. Not the fucking Cubs World Series.…

He then allegedly locked the door, dropped his shorts and began masturbating in front of her, demanding that she touch him and “taste it”. He ignored her pleas to stop, shoved his tongue into her mouth and eventually ejaculated into a trashcan, according to the lawsuit.

Find me a dude (who has reached adulthood) who has not attempted this at some point in his life, and I’ll tell you that you’re dealing with a goddamned liar.

Why it gotta be mom’s cooking? Dad don’t cook? I’m kidding of course, but someone would’ve taken it there because people can’t just let an affirmation stand. Their mindset is affirmation for you = denigration for me.

If Demi really wants to be a champion of body diversity, it would be a great start to have a diversity of female body shapes featured in her music videos. Just sayin.

This entire article and comments section just made me realize that one neighbor who constantly-revved-his-motorcycle-for-five-straight-minutes before leaving in the morning must have moved out. No wonder I’ve been getting better sleep lately.

“Cause he’s got a great ass... and you got your head all the.....”

“I TOLD YOU NO FUCKIN KIDS!”

So this will be the second time he’s portrayed a blind guy.

It’s like The Great White Hype if Peter Berg had even less self-awareness and the entire movie wasn’t funny at all. DON’T SAY IT

No it’s cool because I heard in the comments that Irish people were discriminated against and enslaved too.

If I had to die, being blown to death would pretty much be at the top of my list.

Carl Weathers also knows not to waste rib meat. Throw it in a pot, chop up some vegetables, and baby you got a stew going!

I would urge you to watch Rocky IV. Despite being a fan favorite, it’s actually the franchises lowest point. The movie is really cheesy, but Apollo dies because he underestimated an opponent whose strength is artificially enhanced beyond the limits of other humans, all for the honor of his country, and because Rocky…

Seems like he’s just setting himself up for a run at the presidency.

peyton hasn’t put his balls in someone’s face like that in a while.

“Prior to Mayweather’s annihilation of America’s darling Oscar De La Hoya”

I’d like to think “oh he did this because he’s stupid” but honestly I think he did this because 1: they’re fucking untouchable at this point and 2: his supporters don’t give a shit, they see nothing wrong with it. When Trump said that he could fucking shoot people and not lose any supporters, he meant it. Strap in,…

I heard if you insert a chocolate coated tampon into your vagina you will shortly afterwards poop Hershey’s kisses. It true. I read it on the internet. I think it was Goop.