NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh nooooo. But yes, thank goodness everything ended happily. Seriously though, Uncle Mark obviously meant well, but even if it HAD been a pregnancy ultrasound, that's a super risky, ill-advised thing to do. What if she'd miscarried, and that's why they were acting weird, or something? Big public gestures/announcements…

I've known quite a few ladies who dated men with LDS families, and almost every single one of them had a strange gift story to tell. Apparently it's common to give a single orange and make a big deal out of it because something something Joseph Smith oranges something.

Oh MAN. It's not even that the story itself is terrible but they basically called you a CRIPPPLED LAMB FOR CHRISTMAS?

This year, the greatest gift hubby & I are giving each other is avoiding his family altogether.

"You're an adult now" gifts are the worst. I once watched my cousin weep with disappointment the year he got a set of screwdrivers and a laundry hamper. He was nineteen at the time.

I laughed when I saw the top of the ornament, and by the time I scrolled all the way down to the dangly bit on the bottom I had completely lost it.

Oh no, she didn't make any of it- that's part of why it was so confusing. It was all inside the box it had been sold in. I'm not sure what's weirder, that some company was like "Do you know what people need in their potpourri? A FEATHERSPHERE. Remember this when I'm the next GOOP, bitches" or that my mom walked past a…

Saltwater aquarium full of fussy tropical fish when I was eleven, completely unasked for from my rich aunt. I spent the next ten years perpetually cleaning their air filters, rinsing their poop out of the coral, testing the pH and temperature of the water, and replanting their damn seaweed. Yes, they were gorgeous and…

I opened a present from my mom last Christmas...... and I had no fucking clue what it was. It was a box of...... stuff. There was some normal stuff like seashells, but there was also a bunch of almonds glued together in the shape of a pinecone, little blue foam ovals, a bunch of feathers glued on ball, what looked…

Omg that is terrifying.

I know this doesn't count as it was actually a birthday gift, but while in college I got a box from my mom that contained a tshirt, a drinking glass, a Biblical cross-stitch kit, and a few (loose) razor blades inside a birthday card. We're not religious. I have no idea what the razor blades were for.

Two years ago, from my very Catholic, very pro-life grandmother to me, her very atheist, very pro-choice granddaughter:

My birthday is on Christmas.

My best Christmas gift, was when a guy I knew, who had no close family of his own, had me stay with him. I stayed in his house until after New Years. I got to see snow, and build a snowman for the first time. He took me ice skating for the first time. He then gave me something off my bucket list, a kiss in the snow.

They're right though.

Honestly, you could wear this today and look pretty styling, I think.

That baby grab-box is a good idea, though. Everyone laughs about how babies just like the packaging anyway, right?

fire is for MEN

one night a week she'd go to bed in special sheets of bath toweling packed in beefsteaks : Burger Queen