“You’re just trying to brown-up to your blonde-haired boyfriend there!”

Snort some more glue.

His head looks like an old catcher’s mitt.

Stay safe kids. Do drugs.

Breaking: MLB Announces Plans to Enact Football to Address Pace of Play

This guy is on more painkillers than an entire Philadelphia city block.

I heard Tiger texted the goose after his around and asked it to pee on him?

89% of this website and its sibling websites suck.

I open up a cold Miller Lite and a periodical, I get the same exact feeling.

Amen, brother (or sister.) Amen.

There are at least two apps, probably more, that allow you to listen to road team broadcasts.

This is THE singularly dumbest comment in Deadspin history.

When you put your young children in documentaries you’re making about yourself for publicity you don’t need to hawk a health program based on lies and psuedo-science, what do you expect?

Even if his last name is Bird, it’s good practice to never leave your kid alone in a room with a guy named Larry.

They should allow ALL in attendance to dress up, you know, to stave off the eventual bankruptcy and folding of their “pro-lacrosse” league.

Oh —that’s coming.

IT pretty flailed wildly at this hoping it would be a success, and ended up defenseless.

I’m 37. I don’t Google jokes for facts first like you young’ens! ; )

Kolten Wong already got picked off by an Asian missile to end the 2003 World Series.

They’re working more than she ever has.