me irl

Man, imagine falling off at that speed. Owwy kabootles.

Not to be confused with Law & Order SUV, in which officers ticket vehicles that take up more than one parking space.

I mean, if a person named “Smith” hails from a lineage of blacksmiths...

Looks like someone did the old “shoe polish on the binoculars” trick on poor Alice. All that money and she looks like an extra from Murder She Wrote. :/

Like most, when I heard the “I’m going to donate it to charity” thing I thought she would do 50k or something like that. This makes the most sense though. 7 million is pocket change to someone with a net worth of 12 billion. Makes Depp look like a pauper in comparison.

“Allegedly, she is a fan of George Orwell and Ayn Rand … most unusual.”

This comments section is about to fill up with “Feminists” defending religious and cultural practices which epitomize everything that Feminists are supposed to oppose.

Your insistence that you follow it closely not withstanding, you are wrong. It happens. Jeffrey Porter qualified for the 2012 olympics under similar circumstances. A Brazilian hurdler qualified for the 110m semifinals this year by diving over the line. Americans have won medals by diving over the finish line. So...…

Would give more than just the tip.

Katy and Orlando are the anti-Hiddleswift and I welcome them with open arms.

the GOP let the horse out of the barn a long time ago but only now is closing the doors. Except it wasn’t really a horse, but a mangy goat covered in rotten marmalade who thinks he’s a unicorn.

Why does this television only get one channel?

How is Karlie getting such a strong Wifi signal in the middle of a field? I’m in Prospct Park in NYC and I can’t even fetch my emails on my phone.

Ah, so she went the ‘post a photo of both of us, in which the person whose birthday it is looks worse than I do’ route. Better than last year, I guess.

Taylor: Hey Karlie! My publicists finally decided to do something about my little “over exposure” issue so I can’t hang out right now. Can you pick some flowers for yourself, put them in a vase and post a pic of them next to your laptop’s screensaver so everyone will know I still have friends? Thx! XOXO 😘

That ad campaign made me want to choke to death on a turducken of Junior’s Cheesecake, Magnolia cupcakes, and Levain cookies. She is spun-sugar cyanide.

Where is she, the blond demon, actually from? I could goog it but I don't want my work IT nerds to know I goog Trailor Swift.

This damn song, god I’m so glad Kim dragged that ass

Why I left New York: