The crime visor is the rich lady teardrop tattoo.

When life gives you lemons, make an amateur porno starring your attractive daughter and a d-list brother of a b-list singer and release it to the world. 

She's already in jail. The jail of her mind, where the bars are made of a desperate hope to maintain public perception while inwardly confronting the fact that your entire persona is a grim artifact of post-modern alienation and consumerism, and your kid wants to be an influencer. Fuck that, send me to the pen, I…

He fucked that head, right, we're all in agreement here?

He's a slippery opportunist. He tried this bullshit with his military record, when asked if he was a combat veteran. Pete, you're not charismatic enough to pull this off.

It's legit. You measure from the back of the base of the neck, over the top of the head, and down to the floor. How have you been doing it?

It does factor into your debt-to-income ratio which plays a large part in the underwriting decision. Most people with large student loan debt loads get around it by going on an IBR plan, which allows for a smaller monthly payment which most lenders and Fannie/Freddie accept. 

A ‘86 FC RX-7 non-turbo, with 90% blown apex seals. It smoked like a battleship on startup and acceleration and most any time. Drove it for a year. Sold a bombproof Toyota 22re p/u to buy it. Genius confirmed.

Fuck it, activate the national guard. These retrograde shitbirds had to be dragged kicking and screaming into desegregation, it can be done again. 

Leave it to a sconnie to fully suss out the logistics of shower drinking.

How do you deal with possible solution issues with shower whiskey? Airplane bottles?

I’ll have to try that next time I run out of shower raisin bran.

I don’t even like to eat in the nude, let alone cook. Somehow the idea of getting crumbs on my jumbly bits squiks me out. That being said, one of the finest sensory experiences I’ve had is taking a painfully cold beer into a painfully hot shower.

This is some deep existentialist terror inducing shit.

This guy gets it.

Wrong wrong wrong. Everybody knows that mermen writhe around the mermaids in a frenzied erotic dance, much like the grunion, until they eject massive quantities of roe and sperm into the water which intermix and fertilize, external of any merbodies. The mermen then return to the briny depths not to be seen again until…

Growing up, my best friend was a Thai kid. His dad owned a video shop that specialized in, from what I could tell, renting Thai soap operas to the local community. He smoked constantly and if he spoke a word of English, I never heard it. He wore these slides everyday, rain or shine. I think his probably cost a few…

I don't know about his history, but he looks like an evil leprechaun. That can't be a good thing.

The mind literally boggles.

Tell you what: go ahead and use my voice and continue this argument with yourself in my place. I think we'll both find it a more enjoyable way to while away the afternoon.