The Kardashians are masters of the dramatic form, teasing out arcs and themes over years. Miley is a chicken that can do sums, you just kinda go "hmm, weird" and walk away, never to consider it again.

Miley is going to be one of those things we can't figure out why we thought it was ever interesting, in 20 years. Like pogs or Eminem.

It warms my heart to know with perfect certainty that Ben has spent at least one restless night tearfully googling leg lengthening surgeries.

There is a strong whiff of “If you meet one asshole, you just met an asshole. If everyone you meet is an asshole, you’re probably the asshole” scent over here.

I really don’t carol, do u?

Who is the guy holding junior by the mouth?

I guess Nosferatu there never learned that scared meat tastes worse.

There once was a rapist named Jeff

Good for him.

I was a Marine on 9/11. We all knew shit was going to go down, and we trained like crazy with the certain knowledge that combat was imminent. January of 2002 rolled around and I deployed with the 22nd MEU. We made max speed toward the Persian gulf and the Arabian Sea. Then I spent the next 6 months in a 150 square…

Nope, just a convicted pimp.

Wrap your torso in wet rawhide, then lie in the sun. It's shaping, and it doubles as a sturdy armor in case of unforseen swordplay.

That's some good old fashioned genuine frontier gibberish. The man's playing on the wrong side of the bay.

I'm shocked that they didn't stick a little MAGA hat on him for the picture.

The same reason most houses are ugly: the vast majority of humanity has absolutely shit taste.

Poverty tourists are cunts. Taking a road trip in a van ain't that, though.

Use a rapidly evaporating solvent, like gasoline. You can increase the speed of cleaning with the addition of a lit match.

Use a rapidly evaporating solvent, like gasoline. You can increase the speed of cleaning with the addition of a lit…

Yes, I yearn for the earth to swallow you whole.

Lazy nitwits gotta eat too.

I don't even know any more, man. I'm just bummed that I can't get his takes on monetary policy and the two-state solution piped directly into my earholes.