The existence of a coach named Jeff Fish implies the existence of a coach in the NFL named Jeff Fishest.

Lowry with a seasoned take.

We shall call this conundrum Schrodinger’s Butt.

Here’s a good tweet:

Defeated Superman in BvS.

I remember when I was young and hot, emanating infrared light.

Well look at the man with the golden fuckin’ sphincter over here guys.

If you’re willing to be the back half of a moose, I’ve got a plan...

I work for the Park Service. I am going to continue posting science and facts on our parks website and social media accounts. This isn’t fucking North Korea and I’ll be damned if anyone tries to bully me into refuting cold hard data.

No. 1 cracker is anyone who puts Wheat Thins at No. 1

I hear wounds from a Morgul blade never really heal.

True fact: Kellyanne Conway was the knife he used to stab the guy.

At least the name would make sense.

Good sports trolling is Good

Nazi jokes are getting old anne frankly I’m tired of them.

Too bad someone didn’t give him a Third Reich in the kisser.

Spencer did nazi that coming....

“In September 2017, Cassini will end its 20-year mission by thrusting itself into Saturn’s atmosphere.”

Awwwwwww yeah. Just the way Saturn likes it, baby.

Finally!

Things must be going fucking great in some alternate universe. Lucky assholes.