He doesn’t strike me as a guy that’s into the kind of elections that allow for a chance of him losing. You know, legitimate ones.

Loins? Fuck man, what is he gonna do to our loins?!

I vow to stop clicking on kinja posts until I check if there’s a SPONSORED tag. 

I wish I was a FANCY BEAR.

Nooooooooooooooooo

So the lingering closeup of the exhaust pipes in the Cruz Ramirez thing would be analogous too... you know, I’m sorry I thought this through this far.

Dibs on band name.

I had an idea for fiction about archaeologists and/or paleontologists using light gravitationally warped around a massive object and sent straight back to Earth (or rather, to the completely different point in space the Earth currently occupies) to study prehistoric times. Far too lazy to write it though.

Every time I stumble across one of those casting couch videos (during, uh, important science work research) I wonder if there’s some poor janitor who cleans that office every day, never knowing it’s any different than the other offices he cleans.

C’mon man, the Trump voter confessional was several threads ago. 

I’ll eat the shit out of the ones that are crepuscularly popped. But wholly unpopped, no. Only a monster would.

• PUTTING ON PANTS THIS MORNING TOO QUICKLY, SCROTAL BRUISE

I’d watch a movie explaining that.

Sometimes there are no answers, only the abyss gazing back.

I wouldn’t recommend it.

I think White people do help most people. Each time Haiti has a crisis, or anyone has a disaster, it appears White people are in the ground doing the work, providing food , meds, clothing .

Goddammit I’m pooping right now and y’all are freaking me out.

I only know the one song from the T-mobile commercial, but it really bothers me that she says ‘I see standing over there with your body.’ HOW THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I BE STANDING HERE ARIANA?!

A Pax on both their houses, says I. Or a Maddox I guess.

Maybe we should start calling it his High Castle.