At least he hasn’t named himself emporer for life... yet.

I think a Cubs fan wished for a World Series victory on a cursed monkey’s paw.

Oh, if we’re bringing back old-timey jobs I wanna be a haberdasher!

Yeah, I don’t get their outrage. Theater types and republicans haven’t gotten along since at least the 1860s.

Everyone’s gonna secretly crop dust em with sbd farts whenever they walk by until they get grossed out by the smell and leave.

I’m not sure about the music choice. That appeared to be more of a Temperate Forest Boogie.

I dunno, seems more like he was channeling Al Green to me.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Not sure but I reckon Florida is involved.

“The ultimate competitor fighter”

I always like to think of E. L. Doctorow books as having been authored by a Hispanic physician.

If the TJ folks love candy and you’re a sucker you should be careful they don’t eat you.

Shouldn’t that be ‘Dirrty’?

This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but a Weiner.

I am Wendigo, and I approve of this message.

As far as #2 goes I think it’s maybe an iguana-type earhole thing?

Ya mama got a Glass-Steagall Act with the fish in it!

I thought he was trying to talk like a super-villain.

Maybe he lied about having a ‘weapon of mass destruction’ to try to trick her into participating?