I think a Cubs fan wished for a World Series victory on a cursed monkey’s paw.

Oh, if we’re bringing back old-timey jobs I wanna be a haberdasher!

Yeah, I don’t get their outrage. Theater types and republicans haven’t gotten along since at least the 1860s.

I hope you get to pick your own, like a ringtone. My choice:

A noble sentiment, but couldn’t they have googled it before they fucking voted?

Everyone’s gonna secretly crop dust em with sbd farts whenever they walk by until they get grossed out by the smell and leave.

I’m not sure about the music choice. That appeared to be more of a Temperate Forest Boogie.

I dunno, seems more like he was channeling Al Green to me.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Not sure but I reckon Florida is involved.

“The ultimate competitor fighter”

I always like to think of E. L. Doctorow books as having been authored by a Hispanic physician.

If the TJ folks love candy and you’re a sucker you should be careful they don’t eat you.

Agreed. The chocolate to peanut butter ratio of the holiday eggs/trees/pumpkins/hearts is optimal, superior even to standard Reece’s cups.

So that’s what it’s all about.

Shouldn’t that be ‘Dirrty’?

This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but a Weiner.

I am Wendigo, and I approve of this message.

As far as #2 goes I think it’s maybe an iguana-type earhole thing?