Hugely Small is one of my favorite rappers.

“We only make sandwiches for real men.”

He was KGBeast?! Goddammit, what a waste this movie is.

I think that makes it even funnier.

We should just build a giant tube from Earth to Mars and ship heat and carbon around until both planets are Just Right. Easy as pie.

‘TALK ABOUT CINDERELLA!’ is a fucking great call. Speaking as a cynical child of FJM and Awful Announcing (and Deadspin, I guess).

May you live in interesting times.

Waiting for Gadot

European or African?

I say you actually go with Skywalker IRL.

I read that as ‘New Hunger Games Sex Bot.’ Not sure what that says about me.

BUT WHAT IS THE POINT?!

Question though: which chapter in the Old Testament states that “the animals, oh, they lead with more guile/their offspring keep their gender in the wild”?

Jeez, Africa is a country not a state. SMDH.

I watched a guy get the shit kicked out of him as I helplessly continued to piss against a dumpster for a couple of minutes in an alley in Denver. A helpful transient advised that I scoot, as the altercation was the result of a ‘bad drug deal,’ but I just couldn’t stop.

Turned a verdant shade of green? But that's redun... You know what, this made me A Whiter Shade of Pale, which I like, so I’ll allow it.

So many diverse things.

Based on my own experiences with Magic: the Gathering in high school, perhaps it is for promoting teen abstinence?

I’m very disappointed that Garfield aren't the Wildcats.

Wasn’t the last actual X-man movie also all about robot cops chasing mutants?