.

In announcing the firing, Twins management speculated that perhaps their next employment decision would be based on the type of variety you can at least find in your average boreal forest.

"Told you so. Yeesh."

Weird conclusion. I imagine most illegal tricks involving Manziel end with him making it rain.

More like 17 Straight Shots Of JD, amirite??

he's a guy that may make side deals behind you

...

"Coming up next, our coverage of the hearts of both the Ray Rice scandal and the subsequent media meltdown continues."

Keith Olbermann Punches The NFL In The Face And Knocks It Out Before Dragging It Out Of An Elevator, Unconscious.

I have a totally non-trolling, non-antagonistic question. If you write for Gawker Media, which is partially supported by ad revenues generated by Deadspin, which does so partially by contributing coverage of the NFL (and much of it uncritical coverage of the "check out this awesome play" variety), aren't you also…

Other names considered:

"In fairness he only tried to move them a few miles from the coast. And it was kind of their own fault. Shitty likeness though."

"Iambic pentameter! Now that's how it's done!"

I'm guessing it's because Winnipeg's Anthony Peluso fucked his sister and then stabbed him in a knife fight. Need more grit than that to lead the Sharks. But hey, he's the one who wanted to live in America.

"What??!? Oooooh, race CARS..."

"It's okay, fellas. It's okay. The balance will be restored when I use my Clippers money to resurrect the Malc-, err, the XFL."

This rivalry had better slow down before someone loses an eye.

Ha!

Who knew Donald Sterling was so good at setting up Gmail accounts?

A nine-foot, 400-pound statue of Vladimir Klitschko brought Hayden Panettiere to orgasm last night. Now, it's being taped and prepped to defend the world heavyweight championship.