Local Man Successfully Uses Toilet, Seeks Highest Honors.

So lemme see if I’ve got conservative society’s take straight:

My brothers always get the, “Oh, you’re such a good father for babysitting your children” comments. Without fail, every time, they say, “It isn’t babysitting when they’re yours. It’s parenting.” I love them for that.

Totally understandable in states that don’t have alimony, since you know, moms have to eat and stuff as the custodial parent... but like if you’re that worried about the woman using you as a meal ticket, become the custodial parent. He’s got enough money to hire full time nannies.

I just wish there was some word you could say when there’s a person who wants to have sex with you but you don’t trust them. Some way to decline having sex with someone you're not sure you can trust with your million dollar splooge.

This is the kind of thing that immature, rich men say when they think the child support they’ve been ordered to pay is too high. They are so concerned that the mother of the child might use some of the money to eat a steak or buy some shoes and just can’t see past that. If you are rich, your child should be rich. So…

No, no praise. That’s the whole point. Don’t praise people when they are just doing what they’re supposed to be doing. Condemn the people who aren’t. We don’t praise people for paying the electric bill or cleaning the toilet.

I know!!!!!!! I just cannot deal with that. Great job, doing the bare minimum of being a barely decent human being, kid wanting dads. What about dads that actually participate in their kids lives!? Truly heroes among us.

I offer this solemn and respectful salute as highest praise to the men who perform the bare minimum of responsibilities towards the child they had an equal hand in making.

Is his desire for joint custody based on love for his child, or revenge against her mom for making him pay so much child support?

Chris is apparently starving; he wants that cookie so badly.

Yeah, does this motherfucker want gold stars for using the potty all by himself and eating his vegetables, too?

I thought I'd run out of fucks, guess not. Seriously, fuck that woman beating fuck and his idea that a man being a father to his child is a noble rarity. Fuck his stupid face for perpetuating woman as gold digger fuckery. Time to hate drink my coffee. I just fucking hate this fucking fuck.

Seriously. Any time someone praises me for being a good father just because I’m there for my daughter, annoys me. That’s not something to be praised over, that’s what fathers are supposed to do. That’s my fucking job.

It’s bad enough as it is, but made 100x worse by his use of “men” instead of “males”.

Just once I want to a guy acknowledge that they entered into consensual sex with the awareness that said encounter could result in a child, no matter what the original intentions were.

I don’t ever think kids should be used to manipulate either parent but Fuuuuuuckkk Yooouuuuu for wanting a fucking trophy for being a father. It’s 2015, there is no element of surprise anymore that sex can lead to babies. Moron.

One day, I hope someone invents a device that rich men could use when they want to have sex with random women but don’t want all the risks of getting them pregnant and having to pay child support.

Ugh. No, you don’t get special praise for wanting to take care of your kid. You’re supposed to want to take care of your kid.

Huh. And some men use females as punching bags. Whaddaya gonna do?