THANK YOU! I do the damn dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, feeding/taking care of the pet (no kids), clean bathrooms, and all the other shit, and husband says nothing.

Yeah, as a single dad with sole custody I get all the time people telling me how great of a father I am. The thing is, almost all the people who say that have never even seen me interact with my child. It’s just based on the fact that I’m present in his life. For all they know I’m a total asshole to my kid (which I’m…

I think, for me, the issue is with the word extraordinary. By definition, you need to be going above and beyond basic parenting to be extraordinary. I think you’re probably a good parent, as is your wife (assuming here). But just because you’re doing better than the dad next door, it doesn’t make you extraordinary by…

I mean, I think a lot of the bitterness exists because this initial quote of yours:

Dude, I do all of that and I’m not getting praised for it. What makes you such an extraordinary person that you deserve extra commendations for you know, taking care of the children in your home?

Yes! Exactly. My husband is fantastic and definitely puts in his share of work with the house and kids but simply changing a diaper apparently makes him a hero. If I have to leave town for a couple of days everyone falls all over themselves offering to help this poor man being left alone to “babysit” but if he has to…

I’m glad I read your response before typing out one of my own, because you said it so much better. Especially this sentiment:

We don’t have kids, but my husband still gets acolades for random stuff.

It’s like, every day I don’t murder someone I deserve a medal!

If I take the baby out in public for a couple of hours I’m pretty much guaranteed to have someone stop me and tell me how remarkable I am. It’s embarrassing. Meanwhile my wife has judgement and unsolicited input heaped on her.

My grandmother is super impressed that my brother in law changes diapers. My BIL is an excellent father but I kind of want to point out that’s not the reason. I mean that wasn’t even impressive in the 70s when my dad did it.

Argh. Yes. This. My husband scooped up our crying toddler the other day while I was elbow deep in hamburger, and his grandmother cooed “Oh, it’s like Baby Canuck has two mommies!” Are you fucking kidding me, Granny? You would rather I pick up my kid with these meat hands so that no ones’ genitals get confused. It’s…

so new fathers should be treated like small children. Got it.

OMG I feel the same damn way. My husband is very involved with the kids but messy and so when I am reminding him do do his own damn dishes or whatever, he brings up that many of the MEN he knows comment on how much he does with the kids. He tells me that he does SO MUCH MORE than most men but he is comparing what he…

Right. And what benefits Susan—even if it is a strict benefit—does not necessarily benefit Rosie and Wendy and Karla. In fact, it maintains the system that oppresses them.

I think the reason it’s dubius is more of a short-term vs long-term thing.

It’s funny hearing an idiot condescendingly say “surely you understand that” to his intellectual superior.

Go back to reddit.

I love when people expect to be complimented for not being terrible. It’s like, “Not acting “that way” is the bare minimum of being a decent human being”. It’s up there with people that think that remembering to breathe out after breathing in is an accomplishment.

I am a male ally for feminism. Jezebel played a part in making that happen.

I’ll put that in my box labeled “To Care About When I Care About Making Men Happy” along with ‘shaving my legs regularly’ and ‘getting good at giving blowjobs’.