I think it's what the crabs use to escape!

CRAB LADDER

He annoys the hell out of me with his diatribes about religion. I'm an atheist and the nice thing about being an atheist is WE DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING and so don't have to try to indoctrinate others with our sectarianism.

I thought the second baby was easier because I wasn't totally clueless about doing things. I knew I could keep the thing alive. ;) Was it less work? Hell no! (IMO, going from 1 to 2 kids isn't double the work, it's exponential.)

Wait, you're telling me that Miley Cyrus is on drugs? [The Hollywood Gossip]

If somebody told me to "put the brownie down" I would punch them in the face. Okay, well maybe I wouldn't actually physically assualt them, but I would definitely still eat that brownie.

What does it say about my belief in human goodness that I went to "lazy" instead of "social security?"

Capsule form. At least she is semi-sane. Hoffmann might as well be whipping up some ragu.

I didn't enter this in the original, because it's really not my story to tell, but it was the single grossest experience of my life. And I deal with explosive bottom kittens and cats.

My brother likely has a cow's protein intolerance. I know this because my daughter does too and his symptoms match hers exactly. My…

I have to agree, this wasn't quite the grossest thing I've ever read or experienced, but then, I'm a nurse with great experience in Interventional Proctology. But as first efforts go, it's not bad. Here's a pro tip for all: don't dig in your pooper with your fingers on a daily basis. It leads to prolapse of the anus.…

Bae, this list is cra! Swag with the thots or nah? We just word hacking over here bae. Someone needs to pivot word definitions. #YOLO

Mark, what Selena did is inexcusable. It is a place of worship and you respect that. I have lived in Dubai for 5 years by choice and I respect the customs and social expectations here because I am a guest of the UAE. If I don't like it then I leave. It is no different than going into St. Peter's and doing the same…

As a 42 year old mom that is actually how I imagine a teenage boy might react to being scolded for insulting me. And, you know, equating ugly styling choices to looking like "me" is pretty insulting.

That dog is like the Winnebago of dogs.

Speaking of puppies, I just discovered the greatness that is the Russian Bear Dog.

It's the wine that is still in the bottle when the cops show up and you have to go with them to answer all their nosy questions about how come your neighbors have drawings of dicks all over their house now and 30 llamas are chillin' in your yard.

I think you may have given the Today Show too much credit as a news organization there. Your comments are pretty damn good and significantly closer to great literature than the Today Show is to news.

The Today Show is to news organization as my comments here are to great literature.

Margaret Cho has split from her husband Al Ridenour after an 11-year open marriage.