They probably meant the soda was evil if it was caffeinated. I don’t know many Mormons who are weird on video games. Mtn Dew is basically the Mormon party drug. I have legitimately heard Mormon guys say things like, “I’ve had so much fetching (because they won’t say fucking) Mtn dew. This is crazy!”

Would you say you gave it CBR (Commenter Burnerary Resuscitation)?

My son had a friend that was Mormon and he went to one of these events. When I picked him up, “Mom they walked up by these rooms were teenagers were drinking soda and playing video games. They told us it was evil and we would turn out bad if we did these things.” Me, “your dads at home playing War Craft right now. Do…

plus 2% asshole tax.

This is the shady businessman move of wallstreet. Know that variance means there will always be an upswing, and then make a lot of noise when you inevitably benefit from it.

There’s a similar racket where people sell “stock trading algorithms” that are basically random. They just put a bunch out there, and then one…

Saw this today.

My daughter’s old day care provider went off the rails and started posting pro-Trump crap on her Facebook in late 2015. The problem is, she and her husband are Peruvian immigrants. Does she really think that, if the mobs of MAGAbros were to come through her town and start dragging Mexicans from their houses, that the…

When reached for comment, Mr. Jones had this to say:

2008? OBAMA IS PRESIDENT!!!!

CHUCK BE PRAISED!!!!!

as sassy as watching a recently emptied tissue box for 40 minutes.

She is as sassy as an aubergine.

what? i wish it were 2008!

Smoking weed doesn’t lead to harder drugs, it leads to fuckin’ carpentry.

Next, Trump announces new bill: all salads must be 90% crouton

The ease of concealing one’s use of the product is what is new. If a teen is smoking clandestinely they have to find a place to do it where they won’t be seen, they have to hide their cigarettes so they aren’t discovered, and they have to deal with their hair or clothes smelling like smoke.

Juule users don’t have any…

“Parenting” as a cause of behavior (good or bad) is vague to the point of uselessness. Parents certainly have some say in the direction their kids take, but there’s also a pretty large set of psychologists (myself among them) that tend to subscribe to Judith Rich Harris’ theory of group development which holds that…

I’m guessing that your parents (like mine must have) ignored the fact that you smoked. I can smell the ass-like breath of a smoker immediately.

My HS Freshman has talked about all her friends getting into to Juuling. It started as a middle school alternative to vaping and has completely taken over the school. She has friends who can’t make it through a class without at least one hit.

I... would. I don’t have a teen but if they started drinking 5 cups of coffee a day I absolutely would, yes. That’s kind of a lot for an adult, honestly.

Counter-Counterpoint:I start smoking cigarettes to be cool in HS. 12 years later I quit. It wasn’t some adolescent thing I grew out of. It was also not something all of my friends “grew” out of either. I’m almost 2 years removed. Oh I managed to get into a great college too, and go on to get a great job all while…