When I went through hunter safety as a kid, I remember the instructor telling people to get a pump action shotgun for home defense. His reasoning was the the sound of racking the action was enough to deter 90% of home intruders and the large shot pattern had a better chance of hitting something on the other 10%.

I’m surprised the NRA even knows Parks & Rec, I guess there are no decent Duck Dynasty memes.

The flaw in the prison thinking is that prisons are designed to keep people in, not prevent people from getting in.

Old wives trick my grandma taught me and works amazingly well: take a tampon applicator, get rid of the cotton tampon and fill the plastic applicator up with yogurt. Freeze it. Insert frozen yogurt “tampon.” The cold feels amazing for the itch and the yogurt will help kill the yeast. Gross but works. Thanks grandma.

Siggi is my #1 yogurt, both for its unsweetened full-fat and 0 fat varieties. I buy both and enjoy either, depending on which macros need to be filled on on a given day.

Omg that’s it. I wanted to like it, but just haven’t been able to choke it down for that reason. There’s a faint bouquet of butyric acid.

I just discovered Chobani’s new ‘hint of’ flavor yogurt, it’s slightly sweet/flavored without feeling like you might as well eat a candy bar.

This. I remember having a math teacher who was older than my grandmother, partially deaf and couldn’t raise her arm above her shoulder. She was a lovely, kind, extraordinarily patient woman who probably couldn’t have even lifted a gun. And I also believe she wouldn’t have been able to bring herself to shoot a student,…

America, when asked to do the slightest of common sense, empathetic things towards not having children gunned down:

Whose handwriting is this? It looks like it belongs to a 13 year old girl who is super in to having the perfect bubble script just like her best friend Megan.

I’m a teacher and I’d be terrified to be armed while at school. God forbid something were to happen where I would be expected to use a gun, and I use it on the wrong person, or it gets into a student’s hands. This is insane. If I wanted to carry a gun, I would’ve become a cop.

So I opened up the image of the notes wanting to read them closely out of disbelief (and they are fucking insultingly obvious things to ask and he has to remind himself to use the most basic level of dignity to shooting victims) and then I saw this:

Thank you they ARE! We finally figured out, after thousands of dollars, hundreds of hours of pain, several MRIs and CT scans, and six specialists consulted-that it was my teeth. Well, I should say I figured out-my neurologist and my GP just wanted to keep medicating me over and over and over with progressively worse…

if there was a fourth place medal this comment would get it

I would give anything to know what my cat was seeing in this moment.

Yes, BAKING, that most hyper-masculine of activities.

There is a reason why all true MAN-CAVES must come with industrial-size Hobart mixers, Viking restaurant-quality ovens, and proofing drawers. Men will often engage in fisticuffs over whose cupcakes are better. The sheer testosterone required to mix flour with…

Well, I am going blind, so the eye closing may not be necessary at some point.

I mean, if my fetus was trying to gnaw its way out of my uterus...whiskey might be a good choice?

For a second, I didn’t realise you were talking about cramps and thought you were pregnant. I was like, “The whiskey cocktail was a bold choice.”

Whiskey is disgusting.