mayor David Stewart, who’s held his office since 2000 appears to be a thumb with a beard

I can’t even fathom the return call for some wicked goods. “Hi, hello. I’d like to return my fur lined shoes because they’re absolutely disgusting and I’ve worn them a solid winter too long and it’s a miracle that I don’t have the ugg boot foot fungus the internet freaked out about that one time. Your lifetime…

That’s kind of my plan: I like the idea of being able to donate a well-used (but still nice) coat to Goodwill, because that place made a huge difference when I was a kid and we were broke af.

Question: Is L.L. Bean’s comptroller an L.L. Beancounter?

Some poor sweatshop employee in Sri Lanka or Guatemala is like: “The boss says put rips in all the pants. Why do we ruin good pants? Rich people, hoo.”

This may not be a popular opinion, but the female reporter using the “me too” hashtag because she didn’t get called upon is bullshit. Have some respect for what the movement is about.

no please. not the kittens. baskets of kittens are all we have left in this world :(

So I am on SNAP currently. I only get like ~$80 a month and I need it. It really helps. I am allergic to gluten, my partner is allergic to peanuts. With it, we get fresh fruits and veggies (from a farmers market when we can, local grocer most other times) and get meat from a local butcher that accepts snap, because…

Exactly. Also- if someone wants to save their benefits that month to buy their kid a birthday cake, who cares? I mean, the benefit is the same and it has zero effect on the almighty self righteous tax payer.

I didn’t even know they had a clothing line. But then again, how else will people know you are in a stationary bike cult, if not for the embroidered hoodie??

Bumping this. Thanks for sharing your experience.

“Okay guys, I looked at some instagrams of, like, people who are super duper poor. I am TOTES ready to be like so relatable. Did you know the poors go to, like spin class? With a bunch of other people in a room?”

You know what’s kind of amusing about this is how many of Trump’s voters probably get SNAP. They will NOT be happy about this kind of broad change that doesn’t just effect Brown People. He is forgetting who his base really is.

I worked in a grocery store through college (where I met Mr. Penguin). I remember the women on food stamps using every coupon, every rebate, every possible trick in the book to stretch their food dollar just so they could make it to the end of the month.

The plastic surgery and bleach blonde hair ages hair. She looks like a woman in her late 40s trying to look like she’s still in her 30s. I think Louise is delusional enough to think she will be able to rebrand herself as a lifestyle blogger or beauty expert. I can see her trying to be friends with someone like Gwyneth…

I couldn’t care less if she’s relatable. Please stop wasting our fucking money.

Gary Larson’s got you covered!

My husband and I have a running joke wherein certain gifts or actions are immediate harbingers of divorce. For example, if I ever gift him Johnny Walker Blue Label that is a clear statement that the marriage is over.

The bird feeder is surprising but it is mentioned with gadgets? I mean, my brain went right back to Cruella Deville and I’m picturing birds being lured to the garden only to be plucked and killed by some robot down coat maker. I can’t help it—she seems Super Duper evil to me.

It is masterful! Hats-off to Carrie Battan, who I am now following on Twitter.