Also, I’m in the military, and there is literally nothing most of us hate more than parades. They are hot, you have to rehearse a ton, you get yelled at, people pass out, and 70% of the time you don’t care about the event that the parade is meant to honor. They suck. If he wants to celebrate the military he should let…

I’m totally bummed about this. Mainly because “Lady Dorito” scans perfectly to “Lady Madonna”, and I was looking forward to making up lyrics about it. “Lady Doritos, half the messy crunch, now you’ll eat a dollop and not a bunch...”

Decadent really means that even though this fake brownie the size of a postage stamp is fat free, low calorie, low salt gluten and dairy free, you should still feel guilty about eating it.

We do have hormones, yes. But they’re hormones that allow us to make tough, rational decisions. Hormones like thinkerone, strongacin, and nohomone.

Don’t you dare besmirch the Just Say No message of Nancy Reagan and the Diff’rent Strokes cast!! You monster!

don’t forget to work “decadent” or “decadence” in there. Or does that only go with Chocolate-based snacks? I always hated the concept that anything even slightly pleasurable (especially when it’s wedged into some sort of 100 calorie lifestyle pack) is marketed as “decadent”.

Meh, I’m a lady and Doritos are my chip of choice. In the words of another ad campaign not aimed at me, I don’t always eat chips, but when I do, I eat Doritos. Maybe they’re struggling with the womenz because the ladies are conditioned to stay away from “junk” food more.

There was even a different way she could have said it - I totally would understand if she pointed out that the brand had suffered by over-targeting young men with the “XXXTREEM SPICY TESTOSTERONE FLAVUR” branding and fonts that look like they were designed by fifteen year old snowboarders on mescaline. Women aren’t…

NGL, I miss Crystal Pepsi.

I’d take equal pay. As a beginning.

The other thing is...these dudes are not just fucking any woman they stumble across—they’re presumably attracted to fat(ter) women but shamed for it after the fact. Which seems to be a common theme with a lot of young men—they like a much wider variety of bodies than what they see in the mainstream, but face immense…

I know, and I’m so sorry! I’m bitchy when I’m on the rag.

Do it come in Cool Ranch? I have cash.

I was already feeling bad enough about my body tonight and seeing this makes me want to stop eating from here on out.

As a man, I feel like I’ve been snack cucked here. What’s even happening?! Is pink even a flavor? How do I operate in this new and frightening world where my loud and salty chips are no longer specifically engineered for my personal maw-orifice? Is Pepsico trying to findom me?

The dust is the real product. The chips are just a delivery system for that sweet, sweet dust.

The reporting on a specific Doritos products for female consumers is inaccurate.

“If we have to shut it down because the Democrats don’t want safety,” Trump told reporters, “let’s shut it down.”

on the other hand, she does look like the kind of person who takes a horse tranquilizer every morning just to get through her work day. So, uh, experience, I guess?

I’m far down the line in these comments but I just want to say this here. I watched one of my best friends die in front of me five years ago. She needed a hysterectomy and never stopped bleeding. She’d visit the ER and they’d give her blood and then discharge her. She walked around wearing Depends until she couldn’t…