Technology clearly confuses your mind.

Those aren't tears. Those are the runs.

You shut your whore mouth! THE BILLS MAKE ME WANNA SHOUT!
/guzzles tallboy of Labatt Blue
//cries

As someone who is on the outs with his mom, as she told me she wished I was never born and that my two sisters are vastly superior to me in every way, Reeds' parents behavior strike me in that same narcissistic way. We're your parents, you owe us everything, regardless of what we do to you. And how are their tweets…

Patriots' fans are full of shit. They've even infiltrated upstate NY for fuck's sake. "Hi Jim, long time listener, first-time caller. As a a Patriots' fan..."

NO, YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! I get that the Bills are shitty, I really do. But you don't get to hand in your membership card, become a fan of one of their closest…

Sources say that when Jack One tried to get the condo back, Jack Two threatened to burn the condo down and piss on the ashes.

While we're playing this game, DPs are for NASCAR neanderthals who can't handle technology and LMP2s are true prototypes.

It is. My first ever date in college was there, and she told me I had to try it. I looked at her like she had four heads...(1) because I had never thought to try hot sauce on Mac and Cheese and (2) she was way out of my leagues looks wise, so I decided to ease my nerves the night before by getting wasted playing beer…

In the Vikings' defense, they did receive 5 different people in that trade.

Noodles and Company's Wisconsin Mac and Cheese with the cock sauce. Discovered it when they opened up on MSU's campus.

Miko Grimes would have been the perfect person to stand up for Jonathan Martin.

This. Not to mention east coasters have to stay up until near midnight, making Tuesday miserable.

measled Jax
/fixed that for you

The NFL is our society's version of The Running Man. A perfect way to keep us busy, swindle us of our money, and provide no tangible benefit to the populace outside of mindless entertainment at the expense of its participants. Well that, and being corrupt as fuck.
/How 'bout a light?!?

Blue Label. You've deserved it, old chap.

As soon as you read the line about the kids being cut out, you realize it's not going to take a rocket scientist to realize he's leaving everything to a lady that isn't their mom.
/rich, white people problems?

Tossing that many bricks night after night surely takes its toll on you.

Naw, I was referring to your anecdote on Don Johnson. Wife makes him quit boat racing and then leaves anyway? Probably cited "you're not the same guy you were when I met you" type bullshit.

Jeff and Ingrid seem legit. Jeff and Brooke, well, um, ahh.

Well at least he didn't crash it into somebody's house and then use textbooks in a crude attempt to escape.