The Buffalo Bills would like to have a word with you.

And even then, 911s can be 996s, 997s, 991s. HALP!

Spain has players that need to be playing for them that don't.

The MLS provides the USMNT with players that don't need to be playing with them but do.

LOOKING AT YOU GARBAGEOWLOWSKI

Or is mayonnaise actually your semen?

Something that is important to you gets ignored and makes you sad. Let's put a ring on it? This really doesn't compute.

#richwhitepeopleproblems

I was scrolling through really quick and I read this as "Did you let him know that he could have had Optimus Prime?"

That would be awesome.

Billy Joel does not suck. MAYO SUCKS!

And then that jingle gets stuck in your head. SAVE BIG MONEY AT MENARDS!

It's a problem in Portland, because a few of my soccer friends that live there work for Nike. But they can't wear any Timbers gear, because it all has the adidas logo on it somewhere. Or if they do, it's the old kits from the USL when Nike made them.

Billy Joel sucks? YOU SUCK!

Jordan would be dunking the baby.

Went to a Mets game for my dad's 60th birthday last summer. He grew up watching Seaver and co., so they hold a place in his heart or some shit.

(a) The Mets suck
(b) Citi Field is pretty nice
(c) 32 oz. beers!
(d) cousin bought me several
(e) 5th inning on became real hazy

The car looked like it had been through the Alamo

ooooh hibiscus

ooooh hibiscus

Is the World Trade Center leasing prone-to-jet fuel fire-offices?

Oh it's a cocktail. I figured if it was a cocktail, you would have referred to it as "a Negroni". My bad. Carry on.

dibs on Macaroni

hell, I'd glass him with the Negroni bottle

Today I Learned...