“This question is for candidate Lynch. What do you plan on doing to balance the budget if elected?”
“Thanks for aksin”

If this gets Marshawn onto a debate stage where he glowers at Trump or Pence, while eating fistfuls of Skittles, I will start going door-to-door for his campaign tonight.

Marshawn 2020

Crosby is a genius. He’s forgotten more about hockey than I’ll ever know.

Damn, how much more burning can California take?

Is it the same guy?

Can’t spell Maraghy without Magary.

He looks more like a Kyle to me.

I’m pretty sure I just turned pro-murder.

I never thought we’d be here, but, congratulations to the Detroit Lions on making a smart personnel move.

When do I get an apology for “Who’s Now”

obligatory

Yup you definitely met Matt Stafford.

I have a 74 year old Lions fan employee who has stocked groceries third shift his entire life. He wears loafers without socks, a button up shirt without an undershirt, and smells so bad no one else will work in same aisle as him. One day he’s telling me about the time he listened to the Lions win the championship on…

I actively HATE watching the Lions but I still fucking do it every goddamn Sunday. I was in NEW ZEALAND during the playoff game last year and like the asshole that I am, found a bar to watch the game and let it ruin my week.

[5,000 Tomi Lahrens gather outside arena to listen to Brad Paisley earnestly sing the Nationwide jingle before a matchup with the Penguins]

All of Chicago’s local food-stuff is ok at best so don’t give me any of your shit about ketchup on hot dogs.

I’d be tempted to do one of these videos but make the color green and end the video by turning to the camera and saying, “We’re having a Velociraptor. We spared no expense.”

And then the screen goes black with a loud raptor scream from Jurassic Park.

The problem is that the people from Metro Detroit are dumber than a box of rocks. We’re talking about people who continue to think the Lions are going to ever be good.