Black cherries and dark chocolate?

I'm pretty sure that both Satanists and Pastafarians would be cool with you practicing both religions. I don't think they are monotheists.

This story is bringing out the absolute worst in anyone.

I think everyone has that one person that they have been friends with since forever and even though that person is a jerk, they still hang out together. But if all of the guy’s friends are jerks, that is a different matter.

Tell us more about your bacon fantasies.

MARK I THOUGHT YOU MEANT THAT THE LADY THEY BURIED WAS SOMEHOW ALIVE UNDERGROUND FOR FORTY FUCKING YEARS

*bump*

like, i’m so glad this is happening but....i would rather he just got an a on his good work and not arrested.

I miss Undressed so bad.

Am I really the only one who at least tries to get the guy to let me chip in for half?

Okay, I’ll bite. Am I really the only one who at least tries to get the guy to let me chip in for half? Sometimes the guy on the date stubbornly won’t let me, in which case I’ll usually concede (because I don’t want to get into a huge argument about it) and pay for the second date (if there is one) or, if we’re going…

Christianity is apparently like Choose Your Own Adventure. She can pick out the stuff she likes (hating gays, long denim skirts) and ignore the stuff she doesn’t (divorce is bad).

Yeah, but man-on-burrito lovemaking is one thing. What happens when people try to make gay burrito marriage into something real?

I’m still going to file it away for future reference...

I think that joke lacked a bit of polish.

I always felt bad for finding him kinda creepy-looking. I thought, He seems like a perfectly nice guy. Why is he so off-putting to me? This is totally unfair.

The existential distress is coming from inside the house! The existential distress is coming from inside the house!

*hears the word dementia whispered in ear from the person next to me*

That's fair. I didn't really realize it was more than just a chronic rash (which would certainly be frustrating by itself!)

Psoriasis is pure hell. Unadulterated hell. If she has any, she has suffered rejection and torment.