Hey what do you have against qualifiers? 

Also, this is incredible to me:

No time like the present.

But enough about Bobby Petrino...

I announce this the last Shammgod.

Even my infant son thinks that’s too much.

I was wondering about the applicability of the domestic violence description myself—the NFL, from what I understand, does not have the same automatic suspension triggers for simple assault and battery. Is that right?

Even though you’ve retracted AC Green’s right to comment on the NBA as a whole, can we go on commenting on the Wizards as a bad team exclusively comprising bad players? Whether or not Beal is good, we may not ever know, but as long as he is a Wizard he is unquestionably bad.

A headbutt is just another way of volunteering to do the other person’s fighting for them. 

“ I can accept ‘fuck you and f-you Pat Beverley,’ I can accept that. I’m a grown man.”

That the weirdest part of the story isn’t a forgotten tooth sliding around on the ice is very weird. People should keep better track of their body parts.

I am so sorry you wrote this.

“Excuse me while I try to pull my tongue out of the back of my throat.”

Tune in for the new Mike D’antoni experience: 07 assists or less!

Derek is making a strong case that he’s even more of a lemon than David.

Some lead by example, some by command, others by fucking off to be by themselves for an entire year.

Honestly you’d think Beckham would be happy with his buddy little Wayne Gallman getting some extra carries.

I guess what I should have said is:

Good thing somebody out there is thinking for himself.

Without McNair who will continue bravely leading the Texans into the 1850's?