You had to stay in a hotel to receive a Tesla??

“I desperately need to justify paying what I did for a Tesla, please look at my pictures and believe that this thing will have any resale value” - All recent Tesla buyers

Tesla: “We’re stacking them deep and selling them cheap! (Well, we’re trying to offload the inventory anyway....)“

3 X and Y all look basically the same. And it’s getting pretty dated at this point.

If the door you designed needs instructions to open and you aren’t hiding the Ark of the Covenant behind it, you have done an excellent job defining “bad design.”

So you are saying making a car completely out of sharp metal corners is.... bad?

Looking at the picture, that’s not a scratch, it’s an “I got smacked with a machete” level gash. Nothing outside of internal mechanicals on a vehicle should have the potential to do that to a person. But sure, it’s cool, “100% my fault”! That’s cult level thinking. I’d get Tesla to pay my medical bill at the least. 

It would be a shame if those monkeys escaped their cages during a visit by Elon and he got his face and genitals ripped off.

Never happen. Kristi grinds her puppies up by hand at home.

It’s going to be funny when the first person who gets lobotomized by this chip gets attacked by Musk Fanboys because they took a shower which voids the warranty and fries your brain. 

Also just now realizing I should have gone with “relied on the pullout method,” so please imagine I said that when you read the post. 

“Are we all that surprised that the first Cybertruck owner on Nantucket used the pullout method?”

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose newspaper told him to suck it
They did not approve
And told him to move
From public beach where he had stuck it

Drove his truck into town

Look if you’re in Nantucket it’s because you want to wear pink pants, eat fish sandwiches, flaunt your massive inherited wealth through extremely practical designer shoes, and slowly go mad in a creaky old mansion built 200 years ago by the widow of a whaling captain. Modern extravagances like the Cybertruck just…

Musk: “We updated the frunk so it won’t cause bodily harm”

Stop insulting ten year olds 

Those aren’t Musk’s ideas, though. Tesla existed before Musk, and Tesla doesn’t make anything that I want to drive. Re-usable rockets have been talked about since the 90s. SpaceX based their design on previous designs from NASA.

Whether Tesla’s sudden vaporization of the Disney+ app is the result of Musk’s petty squabble with a corporate rival or just his effort to force random children to “touch grass” is unknown