Olivia Munn was my son’s first celebrity crush when he was a teenager. She was a co-host of a show with Chris Hardwick on G4 where they would talk about video games and other guy stuff. She was the perfect woman in his eyes.

I am pretty sure that the Big Lebowski’s entire wardrobe didn’t cost $239.

Jimmy Fucking Butler!!! Not too shabby for a kid who, as a high school senior, was ranked the 50th best high school basketball player - in the state of Texas.

Start taking your Prozac now. It takes a bit to kick in.

If you were frustrated at the waste and inefficiency of a non-profit, I can promise you that you don’t ever want to work for a government agency.

And it looks like she has put on a little weight since the last time I saw her. Thank God.

All black movies look alike.

Not sure this is really necessary since I have seen them all over the last few months by laying in bed on Sunday mornings and watching TVLand.

Burke Ramsey, is that you?

Kid beauty pageants aren’t a thing anymore? They are even worse! Have you not seen “Toddlers and Tiaras?”

My dad is 77 years old and has a full head of dark hair - literally not one gray. A few years back, before he retired, a few of his co-workers were teasing him about dying his hair, and he said to them, “Would you like to come with me into the restroom so I can prove to you that I don’t dye my hair?”

One caveat: Be especially careful about shoes. I discovered the hard way that nice-looking shoes often get donated to the thrift store because the original owners discovered they were painful to wear. Walk around in them for a bit before you decide to purchase.

Um, not anymore.

No, he’s just happy to see you.

I have a friend who was born 9 months to the day after her parent’s wedding, and her dad used to mortify her by saying to her friends, “Now you know why we were late to the reception!”

Not to jinx anything, but there is a week left in 2016.

Just got finished watching “The Crown”, and according to it, “a cold” was what The Queen was told Winston Churchill had, when it was really a stroke.

All right, you almost had me there.

Great, now we have to worry about political correctness for freakin’ states.

Since when?