You’re doing God’s work.

I have something similar with the volume too, but instead of only choosing even numbers, I’ll choose numbers I associate with sports. For example, when I need it quiet, I’ll turn the volume to 11, which was my son’s baseball number. When I want it louder because I’m driving on the freeway, it’s on 24 because of Ken…

Old habits die hard, and a couple superstitions that have stuck the past 20+ years since I got my license are kissing the palm of my hand then punching the ceiling as I beat a yellow light through the intersection and placing my hand on the ceiling and making a wish as I cross railroad tracks.

Did you tell your coach, “Sorry Coach, but I’m Thewalkingdude, not Thehittingdude”?

ORYA might not be affiliated with Little League, which is the most popular brand of youth baseball, but they are affiliated with Cal Ripken Baseball, which while smaller than Little League should be embarrassed by this nonetheless. If the public outcry is great enough, ORYA can be sanctioned by Cal Ripken Baseball and…

Me after watching that BMW commercial where the foursome puts all of their bags in the back of the X1.

The 14-club rule has been in effect since 1939. Why would they only account for half a golf bag?

Damn weatherman didn’t warn me that it would be raining on my face.

Raekwon - Only Built 4 Cuban Linx: “Knowledge God”, “Criminology”, and “Incarcerated Scarfaces”

This is great information, but more importantly, please tell me you’ve been lurking on Jalopnik for a while and this post and this specific comment is what compelled you to finally take the plunge and create a burner Kinja account.

Admittedly, I was high AF last night, which is why I asked you.

You’re very invested in these two strangers’ internet argument about traffic light sensors. Are you high?

This was a great recap.

Does anyone on the internet read the post before blasting a comment?!?!?

Sorry Alex, but asking a girl to dance isn’t going to get your 15 year-old’s pulse rate up because he’s already gotten a blow job from 2 different girls in the restroom before the dance, and he’s going to bang his biology teacher for a nightcap.

“Like others have said, a machine needs to be better- faster- smarter- than a human; otherwise, what’s the point?”

“Sports are weird.”

I had a DA9 Integra in the late 90s. I got pulled over by the Torrance PD for driving with my high-beams on, which were actually the factory fog lights in between the headlights. When I demonstrated that the fog lights were not my high-beams by actually turning on my high-beams, which automatically turned off the fog…

I wish this story were picked up by Jalopnik so I wouldn’t be in the grays. I would be so pissed if a random coin or PHONE ended up cracking my windshield because of stupid kids and the internet. At least with Tide Pods, they were limiting the risk to themselves.

I’m shocked. I’ve been a reader of various SBNation sites for several years, and I never once suspected they employed copy editors.