When a powerful U.S. Senator is delivering copies of Pizzagate conspiracy theory manifestos to the director of the FBI, this equivalence will become valid.

I made this the other night because fuck this guy

The interview might have gone better had Mike’s father not abandoned his family when Mike was only eight years old.

“But Marge, look at that hang-dog expression. He’s learned his lesson. Let’s get him a present!”

Once again proving that Baylor lacks a credible defense.

Reminds me of that time at work when I got fired for calling my co-worker a dirty fucking whore. When she complained, my boss had me thrown out the door. I tried to explain as the door slammed shut. “But my wife...”

A bunch of journalists crowding around a hole in the wall may seem weird, but at least it’s a lot less creepy than when a bunch of truckers do it at a rest stop.

This should really set the standard for any more boat takes this season. Any article should contain a minimum of five puns about boats, sailing, etc.

Aaron Rodgers’ Hail Mary’s ability to avoid defenders is second only to Aaron Rodgers’ ability to avoid family members.

Trump hasn’t even been inaugurated yet, and already the peasantry is being forced to entertain the plutocracy in order to obtain their very sustenance.

I have long hair for a dude. The other day, I ate at a Chinese restaurant and had a little piece of food stuck between a couple of molars that was bothering the hell out of me and I had forgotten to grab a toothpick. I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled out a strand of hair and used it—successfully—as floss.

Classic Coach K, beating Calipari at “one and done.”

“The best way I can describe it is, having a diaper on & never changing it. And just sitting in that diaper the whole year.”

Of course it’s not. Everybody Loves Draymond.

Jesus what a terrible call of such an exciting play.

This petty cattiness is more worthy of Carrie Bradshaw.

“We shoulda had more time.”

Wow, BOTH Ryans. This is a great weight off of the Bills shoulders.

I get being upset if it’s the team that’s up by 11 that tries the shot but to get your panties in a twist just because the losing team tries to make the score a little more respectable? Fuck off.