Do they cheer? I would cheer.

I’ve been a Maid of Honor. I planned multiple events, bought a dress I’ll never wear again, and assisted the bride on the day with nearly everything. I know it’s work.

Ooooh I have a friend with a car who lives in Flatbush—maybe I should suggest a joint grocery store trip!! I bought a gallon of orange juice on a whim when I went to Target the other day and REGRETTED IT.

Oh noooo! I need to go soon then and give them my business. I used to go to the UWS one a lot when I was living in Washington Heights (it was more convenient than the Harlem one) but now that I’m living in Brooklyn it’s so out of the way in Red Hook—but worth a special trip!

and

Yesss, I love that Fairway has seriously EVERYTHING. I like Trader Joe’s, but sometimes I need JIF peanut butter instead of the weird soupy organic peanut butter you have to keep in the fridge.

Fairwayyyyyyy <3 <3 <3

1) I love you

I know I took it too personally—but the truth is, it seems like you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t sometimes. I’ve always worried too much about what other people thought about what I do, and it seems like you’ll never make everyone happy (which I acknowledge is an insane thing to even attempt). No one…

Okay guys! Time to eat mediocre cupcakes and play weird diaper games while watching our pregnant friend unwrap boxes of nearly identical onesies!

It’s not a thing at every baptist wedding, but I’ve known a few people who did it.

Drunk Uncle is one of my favorite things to ever be on SNL

Yesterday I told my friend at work that in the next few years or so my boyfriend and I hoped to get married, and her incredibly visceral reaction of shock really surprised me—she explained that she didn’t want that, never wants so have kids, etc., which is totally fine, I think that’s perfectly valid for anyone who…

Like, isn’t it a lot of effort to be so blatantly self-righteous all the time?? I’d be exhausted.

I want to smack someone when they bust out the word “toxins”

A tiny part of me hoped it was something more

Britany, I’m really sorry your parents misspelled your name on your birth certificate and just had to roll with it all these years :(

As someone raised Christian, it also genuinely confuses me. Like, that’s one of the most well known stories??