Dozens?  If true, that achy breakys my brain.

That’s more of a Utica expression.  In Albany its Steamed Hams memedom.

Tell the truth: if you say “Hainan Chicken” three times General Tso’s Ghost will disembowel you. That’s the real reason no one will say “Hainan Chicken.” I must stop right there.

Combining two of my loves: game shows and giant fucking wheels of cheese.

“The objective of the study, led by Kelsey A. Vercammen of Harvard’s T.H. Chan School of Public Health, was to assess the nutritional value of fast-food combo meals, and suggest ways they could make healthier.”

Your move Taco Johns.

Why ask why?

Good comedy has always been about slaughtering sacred cows. The comics are the same, the cows are just different. Cue the chorus of [Chappelle doing a “white guy” voice] “Hey...that’s a false equivalency!”

Michael Jackson jokes for some, miniature American flags for others.

I would point out that Chappelle’s special is even called “Sticks and Stones.”

No.

That’s where the rabies comes in. Rabid islamophobes are completely unpredictable.

Well aren’t you a cracker fecking wain?

I do have to turn on the subtitles for Derry Girls.

Or some sort of 50 Shades of Grey Jedi....

“Luke tossed his electrified ass into oblivion at the end of The Return Of The Jedi.”

“Doorway” is the very polite way of saying “Giant Sphincter.”

This looks like a straight up Western.  

You seem charming.  I hope your worst moment is never caught on video and broadcast on the internet.  Cheers!

That’s not really my point. My point is that losing a job when you are already poor can have life altering consequences. He might end up homeless. But the counter point is: he was a dick on video so who give a fuck about that piece of shit!!!!!!