Those poor people look so sad, like a couple of cagED raCCooNs.

That is fucking absolutely savage. I’m actually pretty amazed that they ran this. With that kind of thing, I mean, you must have medical staff waiting in the wings in case there’s a heart attack or something. Someone could die, of disappointment or even humiliation. What are the odds? I mean, imagine going all that…

She’s actually only 400 miles behind the Proclaimers.

I know they were walking, but she’s still 900 miles behind The Proclaimers.

I’ve only ever done a 50-miler, but I can confirm that ultras are more mental than they are physical. If you’re going to be serious about doing one, you train so much that the physical aspect is not such a big deal. It’s when you’re sitting at mile 30 (or in her case, mile 60 or so), that your mind starts to fuck with…

What goes around comes around.

I tried to get this joke off the ground the last go round and was humiliatingly unsuccessful.

Jesus goddamn motherfucking almighty Christ, this fucking goddamn fucking thing just fucking refuses to fucking die.

I mean, with a kinja name like that, coupled with that avatar, I suppose I naturally assumed you were a cultured individual without the humblebrag.

majoring in criminal justice

Well, ok, but if I get rid of my single serve coffee machine I’m going to need to find another physical manifestation for my crippling loneliness.

Weird that they’re fighting over a chair when there are clearly ample seats available.

Don’t worry; the NFL’s top notch concussion watchers are on it.

Like Becca, I would like to apologize to everyone for perpetuating a fraud, as I am neither French nor from Montana.

I completed the NYC Marathon today (first one ever, go me!)! There were about a half dozen spectator signs along the course alluding to this same motivator. Another half dozen or so substituting in Trump’s name.

I don’t think you need to run 40 miles per week to appreciate the effort or takes to run a sub-3-hour marathon.

Broke her back.

To be fair, Harvey Weinstein was chasing her for the last 3 miles.

The man who filmed the video, who was driving for a car app at the time, says the guy in the truck was Embiid’s trainer.