I’m pretty sure all you have to do in jail is just, like, sit there. That may not be great for anxiety, but it will give your wrist and hernia a chance to heal.

I’ve never taken a strangers leftovers, but I have no problems with it in theory. I eat food that my friends and family can’t finish and visa versa. Really, I just don’t think I could live with the shame if someone were to see me, because I know it would gross out everyone else.

Maybe she doesn’t have a mental illness, maybe she was just acting out for attention after enduring god-knows-what bullshit from her classmates. Maybe she was just being a dumb 12 year old.

Yep if the roles were reversed, “Large black man shoots innocent woman who accidentally walked in his apartment” would be the headline. Certain political pundits would try to frame Botham Jean as a trigger happy man who didn’t deescalate the situation when a random lady barged into his apartment (even though these are…

I’m ok with Tristan and Tarian. Hopefully they’re just going through some shitty son phase (I’m assuming they’re teens). But if they are still smug bastards in a few years, then they go on the Official Shitty Son List.

You’re forgetting that rednecks come in two varieties: the fat and the comically skinny (they tend to be nicknamed “Slim”). Both are malnourished because they think a balanced meal high in leafy greens are for “queers and wimmin”.

I love you, let’s get married and sit in silence in separate houses, together.

Them: “Workin’ hard, or hardly workin’?”

I love this. I WISH someone had said that to me while I was a cashier.

“I gotta new brain, who dis?”

I knew a Dominican girl in college, she was very pretty and she had dark brown skin. In one class she mentioned that she was much darker than her sisters, and her mother was always trying to get her to lighten her skin with various products. Thankfully, she had enough self-esteem not to cave in.

He is a criminal* with a face tattoo. So yes.

I just. I can’t. I can’t even. He did all this shit to his body for attention, and now he, of all people, has to go into witness protection. He’s not going to last 5 minutes before he posts an Instagram picture of his new crib in Boise, because he wants attention. I get that the government has a duty to protect him,…

Fair enough. I guess one person’s “reckless” is another person’s “Sunday afternoon”. In my mind, it wasn’t just that he was swimming, he was swimming while pre-occupied.

And when you factor in the time it takes to travel to and from the airport, plus your 1-2 hour early arrival at the airport, and the frequent delays (I’ve encountered more flight delays than train delays), the time difference is almost negligible. 

I was about to ask what prizes he’d qualify for, because despite his claim that he could win “a lot” not Nobel Prizes (I mean, it’s pretty hard to win more than one, but I digress), I don’t think he’s eligible for the traditional categories of physics, chemistry, literature, economics, physiology/medicine, or peace.…

Brian Regan says most things best. 🤣

There’s an inherent level or risk involved with going in water, regardless of skill and ability. At the end of the day, if something goes wrong, it’s worse than being on dry land.

It’s sad because a man died. But also stupid, because he needlessly did something risky and dangerous. I feel bad, but mostly for the woman who loved him.

I struggle with most “ie/ei” combinations. Receipt, receive, chief, field, weird, recipe. I know “recipe” doesn’t have an “ie/ei”, but I keep trying to add one.