What the hell? It’s hair. I’ve never once been in school and been like, “I can’t concentrate ever since DeSean got dreadlocks.” or “I wanted to do my homework, but then Lisa dyed her hair pink, and I realized life was meaningless.”

They cut off the dialogue. The last line was:

When I was a senior in college, I spotted a dead squirrel near my dorm. I walked past it almost every day. Took a year to decompose, which is way longer than I thought it would take. It was just right there, on some mulch under a tree. It really made me think about the circle of life and the forces that control…

Are we the precursors? Is that fish our future?

I agree that bullying is bad, and even vegetarians should be treated with respect. But I also want to punch that stock photo man in the face. Look at him, smiling at a bowl of salad. Ugh.

Because sometimes you want a coffee milkshake? I like coffee milkshakes. Most people call them frappuccinos, but we all know what they really are.

The burnt taste is why I prefer almost any other coffee shop for a simple cup (usually Dunkin Donuts. It’s cheap and fast). But if I want an over-sweetened coffee-flavored milkshake, then Starbucks it is.

I’ve never gotten shit for just using “small”, “medium”, or “large” while ordering. Just say the size you want like you mean it and move on. Don’t hesitate, don’t show fear.

I’m a people pleaser, I will almost always switch provided the trade is at least equal. I’m short, so leg room isn’t an issue, though I, like most sane people, will not willingly pick a middle seat. So far, my agreeableness has worked for me. On at least three occasions I agreed to take a seat farther back in the…

I was still a young teen when 9/11 happened, but I remember it changed the way I was perceived. For the record, I’m a black/white mix, but I’m used to being mistaken for Mexican or Latina. After 9/11, I was mistaken for being Middle Eastern or Muslim for 3-4 years before strangers went back to assuming I was Mexican.

Y’all must have learned that trick from Maryland, or every taxi I’ve ever been in. I once had to tell my cab driver to let the poor bastard in the other lane merge.

In Boston I got honked at for stopping at a stop sign. The person behind me was not expecting it, because they damn near rear-ended me. We’re talking about a 20 MPH road next to an elementary school, but I’m the bad guy for stopping.

If you take a moment or two to look at how the escalator is being used, you’ll pick up on the customs. Ditto for many big city habits. Just watch for a bit.

Some parts of the Boston suburbs (specifically, Malden), where most parking available is street parking, has declared, like 80% of all the streets to be a “snow emergency route”. Then when it snows, or if they think it will snow, they will declare a snow emergency (in Boston! It snows all the time, ain’t no emergency),…

This is why you need to have a “decoy” name that you tell everyone (keeps others from taking it), the “actual” name, that will go on the birth certificate, and the “true” name, the name your child decides to go by because they didn’t care for their actual name.

I agree. I tip $5 minimum for delivery, doesn’t matter what it is.

Trump would never, ever utter the words “Stop looking at me”

A TV, a computer, an air conditioning unit, and a mattress have all been shipped to me with a shipping label slapped on the branded box. They were purchased from BJs, Dell, Amazon, and Casper, respectively. NONE OF THESE COMPANIES GAVE A SHIT.

I think it’s the last one. The Good Ol’ Boys Club did not expect a backlash, they never do.

That image actually upsets me.