You forgot short season A. And some teams (all teams? I dunno, the Pirates do) have 2 rookie league teams. 

Imagine seeing a story about a child being gang raped and seizing the opportunity to make a tired false equivalence to other children being murdered joke. 

No, this is just one of those Fortnite dances all the kids are doing.

Every Pittsburgher immediately held their breath while trying to determine if we have Strauss in our family tree, because this guy was definitely at our family reunion.

I’m calling BS on his name being anything other than Cooter.

<scrolls through a thousand generic Chris Davis doesn't hit what he swings at jokes>

Except Crick. Crick was ready, Puig froze when he had a chance to throw a punch.

Teams carry like 90 dudes into their 3rd preseason game, rosters are nowhere near set.

Different game. These happen regularly. 

Welcome to Deadspin, Camel.

This’ll be easy to sell to his base, since they can’t find it on a map to begin with.

Does this ball come before or after the 6 minute long cell phone video of “Jeremy” on his list of shit that nobody else wants to see no matter how many times you say how awesome it is?

I don’t think that word means what you think it means. Mentioning well known racial biases in policing makes me a racist in the same way discussing flight patterns on migrating swallows makes me a bird.

Best part of this story? On the way out, they also found that dinner on the right when was apparently missing for a decade.

Obviously they were white. That’s why they didn’t get shot. Sorry if that was a bit too nuanced for you.

This is an incredible amount of effort for something so rare. Honestly, even reading this was more effort than it’s worth. It’s like buying a safe deposit box every time you buy a Powerball ticket.

Wait until you guys hear about Mike Vick.

I clicked on this story expecting to read about a USC QB making a career change.

Wait you literally said “no other country...” and then you clarified by saying “because it happened in the US.” So yeah, that’s kind of self defining, isn’t it?

While I appreciate your scientific attention to detail, I don’t think there’s a minimum population of the undead required to maintain a species.