What about an NDA? Are those still enforced during The Purge?

Nah I agree with Bob A. Fett here. I have no time to be UNNECESSARILY nice to people. Like, I wont yell HEY FUCK YOU at every person walking by me, but I dont have a fake insincere persona either.

ESPN will definitely figure out a way to turn this into a story about the Yankees

Matthew R. Cake?

1. Is she trying to seduce America?

I think all the paint just fell off my living room walls

I was into it but then he said some REALLY racist stuff to the horse. That’s just too far.

Let’s just breakdown what we’re working with here.

1000%

Just a head’s up, Deadspin, there is a hate group advertising on your site.

Michelangelo’s Last Supper but in Sandusky Ohio and bratwurst was used to illustrate the mystery of transubstantiation.

That’s funny as hell! I wonder if that is still Forever 21's policy? I may have to make a visit.

I’m stealing “sarcastically pedantic” for my own personal use, and setting it to the Lucky Charms jingle.

I thought being “too drunk” in Scotland meant you were dead. Learn something new everyday I guess.

*Not OK locker room talk - saying “fuck” a lot and “god damn” a few times to 13-14 year olds because they don’t hear or use that kind of language.

At 14, I was working on beating the Legend of Zelda.

If he was standing the whole time he probably thought the anthem was still playing and the old guy was disrespecting the flag.

He looks more like a Kyle to me.

Coincidentally, getting laughed at and fucking my wife go together, too.

Newton added that his favorite comedian is Google Maps.